Life is never random; a purpose lies in every part of your story. This includes the very highs, to the really sad lows in your life. The instinct may naturally be to hide in a cave, locked, hiding your fears and crying a river over past issues, failures and heartaches. The key is to use that as a stepping stone, and a platform for self-improvement and success.
So how does one get on the bridge that links self-improvement with success? By implementing these steps:
- Mindset change: You must be your biggest cheerleader! Jump past the level of failure, and into success. Applaud every step!
- Goals: Set small and reachable goals.
- Competition: Look within and not outward. See yourself and not others as your greatest competition.
- Learn: See everything as a learning opportunity. Learn everyday! See everything as an opportunity to take something from it all.
- Smile: Research shows that smiling makes a person feel good. Smile more.
- Support: Have people around you that you want to become like. You are the sum of everyone around you.
Success doesn’t just happen. For every success story, there is a journey of highs and lows filled with obstacles. The journey starts when you allow it to begin. The moment you open yourself up to learning, and improving, the lessons start. Look around you, the world is your classroom. Class is in session.
Your biggest competition in the race of life, will always be yourself. The problem is many people spend time looking at the next lane, thinking that person somehow has it better. The truth is that if you were to sit down, and talk to them, and listen to their story, you most likely will prefer your own version. It is time to look in the mirror, and appreciate the reflection you see.
You are a mother struggling with your tantrum throwing toddler. You have on your Saturday morning’s best, which is pretty much an oversized hoody, and a pair of jeans. You are trying to stop the child from picking everything in the store. A pretty lady wearing a crop top, showing some wash board abs walks past you on the phone, she struts along with her 4 inches, and you just wish…
Now what you may not know is she is thinking, I am tired of this life, I wish I had a family at home to go back to. She may have had a few miscarriages even, and just wants a child!
We see a young business entrepreneur and say “Whoa… he has it made!” He looks at himself every morning, “I really need to attend AA classes, someday they will see right through me.”
Sounds funny right? We see others, and envy takes over, yet even within that perfection, things still are imperfect. As a result of our poor self-esteem, and lack of self-confidence, we create a cobweb of dark desperation.
One key to self-improvement is to find a wise sounding board. Someone trusted that you can open up and confide in. Find someone who is open to telling you not just what you want to hear, but what you need to hear. Ask questions like “do you think I am arrogant?”, “Do I always talk too much?”, “Do I talk too loud?”, “Does my breath smell?”, “Do I ever bore you when we’re together?”. Tell the person to be open and frank with their comments. Open up your mind and heart as well, to receive whatever comments may be as constructive criticism. This is crucial to helping you improve yourself.
The fastest way to stifle growth is with comparison. Learn to accept and love the person that you are right now. Only then, can you start the journey forward.
The best way a spouse can help the other with self improvement is not by negative criticism. It starts by loving and accepting that person. By creating an atmosphere of love, you allow them to trust and feel accepted. That act of love will be the biggest motivator to cause them to seek self improvement.
Self-improvement and learning the art of loving yourself does not mean going to the mountain top and proclaiming your greatness. It’s the virtue of acceptance and contentment. Once we start improving ourselves, we naturally start feeling good, content and happy.
If you would like to work on creating a better you, connect with me, I would love to help!